Quora users take a frank and objective look at the experience of undergoing an extreme physical transformation.
In a popular Quora thread, people who have claimed to experience both ends of the spectrum of conventional beauty discuss what it feels like to make the transition from one end to the other. For some, the experience of seeing how people act differently around them has made them jaded; others feel liberated by their change.
Their frank self-assessments are a compelling look at how standards of beauty for both men and women affect our daily lives and interactions. Below are photos and quotes, taken directly from the Quora thread, used with each contributor's permission.
"I have two personalities now. "
"My appearance changed quite dramatically from high school to college. My hair calmed down, my skin cleared up, I grew into my gangly, awkward body, I lost the baby fat on my face, and I finally started taking care of my crazy eyebrows. Growing up, I was a nerd. I didn't have many friends, and most of my time was spent alone in my room working on electronics projects, programming, playing guitar or video games.
Some background: I'm a PhD candidate in electrical engineering at a top 10 school. At my core, I'm still pretty damn nerdy. I used to be very socially awkward and multiple people told me I probably had Aspergers syndrome. I also had really bad social anxiety, especially in high school, to the point where I would feel nauseous basically every morning at the prospect of having to go into a social situation such as school. I didn't own a single dress, and no boys were interested in me. I didn't have my first kiss until college.
After I matured, I started going to the gym, and my appearance started changing, I noticed quite a few changes in my lifestyle and how people treated me. This may just be specific to me, but these were the big changes in my life:
1) I was no longer a wallflower. People started looking at me when I walked around and taking notice of my presence. This was weird and unnerving.
2) Making friends became a lot easier; I didn't even have to make an effort. I was still weird and offensive and I STILL made friends. I started getting invited to a lot of events and parties. I felt like socializing and going to parties was the "cool" thing to do, and the thing I should do and take advantage of.
3) Other girls ask me about and pay a lot of attention to what I'm wearing, my makeup, accessories, blah blah. This is weird. I don't normally notice this stuff on other girls. And I still don't really know how to use makeup that well, but if I have to go to an event or do a photo shoot or something, there's usually someone around that can do it for me.
4) I have two personalities now. One is my real self, which is who my friends and coworkers know, and who makes super nerdy jokes, is wildly inappropriate, and very morbid. The second is the personality I put on for non-technical social situations. No one is going to get my nerdy jokes, even though they may be the first things I think of. I remember once at some fancy party I let one of those jokes slip and got laughed at and called "big bang theory" for the rest of the night. No, this is an art gallery opening, or a fashion show, or who knows what else, where no one wants to hear that stuff..."
–Kyri Baker
